Life is like rowing upstream

Life is like rowing upstream; not to advance is to dropback.

不

进

则

退

言毕。

luck- seh....

by seeing the title LUCK-SEH...sounds like something good things happened on me, LUCK what...
If you know cantonese or chinese dialects, then you will know LUCK SEH means---did something embarrassing.

v

see the picture, spot me? 

the one looking at the floor with purple dress, black legging. 

this was happened at my company's national annual dinner, i'm part of the committee, but not as devoted as the rest. When the emcee announced committees to go up on the stage, I was following the rest going up. When I was on the way to the stage, I saw people around were those top management in the team...swt...I was shouting in my heart: oh my god! you silly girl...

 but what to do, i was already on the way up, turn and go down the stage is another silly action! 

act like very proud, hit five with everyone on the stage, clapped hands, then go down the stage with an embarrassing face was what I did. 

Lucky was my bosses and seniors all said no problem, not an issue. but personally i was really.....luck-seh. 

The best CharSiew

When you type 'XXX' (whatever food you feel like eating) on browser, thousand of link appeared, out of the thousand, 90% is food blogger. I don't know blogging also become career =.=
Recognize the fact that I won't be competing with them, won't be stand out of the crowd pun, so I don't establish own food blog.

Come to this entry, I tried this last month, 25th March i think. Char Siew in Sea Park, named Ah Kai famous chicken rice. The owner called Stephen, didn't look like local, but speak very fluent Cantonese. He told me he is going to USA soon, white man like his CharSiew, and provide him modal to open business there.
The taste of the Char Siew stayed on tongue for whole day, I should have posted the food since then, but the phone I was using was sent to ICU---ops, is buried in graveyard... can't even retrieve the photos in that phone.
After 17 days, today I tried the food again.
One day before-yesterday lah... I googled the location of the shop, because I can't recognize the direction to be there, accidentally, I read a blog which introduce roast duck which is opposite to the shop, say very good wo...Since were there already, bought a set for two and tried out. Roasted duck picture, as below.

 

 Frankly say, I'm not into fuc...sorry sorry, I'm not into duck, so it didn't arouse excitement of my taste bud. One thing I like of the duck is, it doesn't taste too oily. Normally a delicious duck must pair with abundance of oil, this is different. Looked dry? because I didn't pour the gravy, I rather called it soup, because it doesn't taste thick. =)

 

This is the roasted chicken from Ah Kai(the owner- Stephen). As said, tasty food must be paired with oil, this is unwritten rule, so the chicken is quite...moisturize=D. I've no comment to chicken, all this while I like to eat chicken. As long as it doesn't taste really bad, I won't give negative comment.

Fair...but I'd like to give complement to its well roasted chicken skin, it tasted crunchy, and soft meat, which not every stall could make it. *thumb up*

This is the main character~~~ Deng x 4!!!

Remember the first time I ate this Char Siew, it was totally surprised me out! ok, seriously I'm not into CharSiew--not into pork, or meat. I thought the meat was just like what I tried before, so when i first put it into my mouth, I saw firework on my head. XD...can you tell how surprised I was and how delicious it is!

Caramelled Charsiew surface was burned to charred, and tender inside. The transparent fat split the tender meat and charred skin, guiltily high calories, high fat and high cholesterol, irresistible..Amen, Buddha mercy...  

Total we settled with roasted duck for 2 (RM11), damn tasty Charsiew and roasted chicken for 2(RM 13, teh ice and special teh C ice (RM1.50 and 2.5)

As for first time I went, was together with colleague. 4 of us settled with 2 big plates of Charsiew, roasted chicken sold out when we were there(1pm++), guys worried if merely eating Charsiew would not filled there stomach, then they ordered stir fired kangkong for 3, guess how much? RM20!!! And the boss whom also the boss of the kopitiam justified: this is pretty reasonable, they count per head one, you ordered fro 3 persons, supposedly should be 24, we charged 20, it is worthy. End up, they charged us 15, but still expensive what! fry kangkong only...If i buy RM15 kangkong to throw you, you can die la wei~~~As can foresee, after Stephen moved to USA, the restaurant can roll ald, menggulung tilam. XD

finally

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Hey guys, teach you one word: F.tard.

F...ing retard. 

what is it? the picture shows....

Words from Mr Ong.

just like that

At this time, when the digital clock on my lappy's screen is showing 1253, I should have slept, should be meeting with Mr Chow, but the fact is I'm not. I'm blogging. Last post is a crap, isn't it? Someone told me something which I've recognized before it is pointed out, quite hurt of that few words. Who knows words with care would turned to harm? No one wants, but the Gemini is too sentimental sometime. "Nothing gonna defeat me?" sounds too naive and optimistic; I'm just always trying not to be defeated. 

Apples bought at last week, are still kept in fridge, it reminds me : Hey, busy huh? 

in fact, not that busy, just because of working, I canceled a beneficial class that I suppose to attend. 

Come to my job, frankly say, at least not dislike, but his job could turn me to another people, skill to survive. I give myself a period of time, keep my finger crossed, I can achieve what i want, if can, I would like to stay more than 5 years here, another 3% of the fund. haha... 

talk about my *eh hem*....this is quite sensitive topic, especially when you've worked long enough. I don't like to reveal the exact number, sometimes it is one of the few things could make me feel secured. It is unfair i know, but I really jealous people dont need to pay rental, dont need to bother about expenses on transport, dont need to think about food. If i could save all this, it gives me extra 800-900 per month... Seniors in life always say, "slow slow come" (means slowly you will have), slowly save you will have abundance of saving, slowly work you will be at high level(means promoted). The moment you're saving, the value of things around are inflating, quite sad but it is true. Dont want to face the reality,then turn you face aside; but the impact still hits on you. I back to be part time freelance girl, gotta appreciate this title, soon girl will turn to matured girl, please note that, MATURED. The pay is so less, lesser than last time, supposedly, theoretically pay should increase by year, but it declined! I was standing there and think: I'm selling my time...this is passive, go to maximum 30 working days per month, earn 4-5k, but whole day gone, work 12 hours perday,plus time travel  go and back. but do you think you still can earn this figure 5 years later? and 5years later, how much 5 k meant to you? 

A doctor, Chinese traditional doctor told me: you are weak...

o.0 

i doubt. all this while i'm doing fine. Until yesterday, I realized, I really turned weaker. Headache, dizziness all come to me recently. Especially yesterday, I feel like falling down at the mall, can't walk straight, and yet I run towards the entrance when it was 10pm. Supposedly i should take more care on myself, how about consume more food supplement? how about eat more nutritious food? you know what, you dont have a choice when you are working. Someone could do it, but the one must have sacrifice alot, like networking.

Jacky chong's song comes to my mind,　如果这就是爱～～～but i changed a little bit, 如果这就是life~~~~

also to mention: I have a fren, not so close always complaint this and that, complaint life no good, complaint job, want holiday... hey, you have a good life okay! at least you still carrying nice and branded bag, alot of clothes, got few cars to drive, family burden not falls on you. 

 如果这就是life~~~~

this is how different of human life. 

Summary of March

Feel like blogging for dayssss, topicsssss flash in and out but couldn't grab a solid thought and start with a right word, that is...feel so constipating-- things stuck inside somewhere but hardly to excrete them out.

Since the day I had an argument with a BITCH-- it happened in LRT. The bitch deliberately stepped her foot on my toe and waved her hand at my waist because of she didn't has enough place to stand, made me so empathize on her limbs coordination disorder; no body would do that on the person stand next to you in a crowded LRT except for below 2 reasons，

1- she is so naive and childish to think what she did was helping her to express her dissatisfaction of I didn't make a move in order to let her has bigger space for her huge age-mid-50-looked body, while I could barely stood with my feet opened like my shoulder size.  (too long description =p), OR

2- I'm so fucking narrow-minded and petty to angry on a limb coordination disorder patient. 

Obviously the latter one didn't happen, if she has limbs coordination problem, she wouldn't said: "you are so proud of standing; now I can sit!" wtf!!!?????(she said this to me) 

too long to describe the story here. Seriously,no body would do things like the BITCH, yes, no body...this kinda creature, I named them : NO BODY. 

Then, I'd like to post a topic of no body. I've observed there are too many people living mundanely in a stressful world, so they are more likely to use their little tiny authority or advantage or do nonsense things, to fulfill their need, to balance their mental imbalance. BUT due to time constraint, sleeping hours insufficiency, vocab shortage, unable to visualize thought into words, till now, the post of NOBODY still yet to be finished. 

  

your vibe emits the energy, and it attracts more of the same to you. 

Sounds really... nonsense, literally. XD, for a simple understanding, it simply means, to be positive and strongly, confidently believe that what you want is about to be realized, it is coming. 

So, I'm trying hard to practice, some success some were failure.  

Success: I want a good week, following days after the incident in LRT, thus I  tasted a lot good food. (it puts on my weight too>.<) 

People know me well understand that I'm not into oily food...whatever fried food, salty food. Since I work, it change little by little, there are too many good foods around. So I went to a CHAR SIEW stall in a restaurant in TMN PARAMOUNT. The first and ever I'm missing a food so much. Took some pictures, but my phone spoiled ald, can't transfer to my lappy, here start the story of failure practice after the good one. 

My phone really spoiled, I was so determine I want my phone back to normal, I don't even wish for a new phone yet....Unfortunately, it left me....it dumped me...Sadistic lady always wouldn't let object force her to a corner...In the end, I thrown the phone onto the wall... hahahahahahahaha, and of course, certified, announced death, declared dead! (XD vs T_T) 

what happened in my March? just like that....

I'm so so so so so sleepy...want to sleep now. I'm sure pretty much mistake in this post. Whatever la, damn sleepy d... Good Night and Happy fool 

Linkage made by patches .

there are something that I don't know how to put on mouth.

there are something I don't know how to act, don't even know where to start the act at. 

there are something I over look and don't know how big the impact is. 

I've been thinking of him, the consequences after I did something. 

I have a friend, i call him my brother, abang angkat. Not a formal one, not yet gone through a ceremony =D, and just finish reading some of his posts. my heart sour quite a lot after read his post, he broke up with his ex who about to engage with.

I had him, an important person in my life though. He taught me quite a lot, brought me happiness too. What was the most exciting thing was to wait him home in a mundane life. Days gone, years pass. In the end of our relationship, I said let's break in a firm stand. Yes, he beg for patching; he asked for chances. I was so firm to say no. We've been together for 3 years and 5months; I keep thinking of him recently, even before his mum called me. Scenes together flashed back, yea, we went through sweet time, rarely had argument. 

He said he never thought of i would left him. 

He said after I went his life was miserable. 

All i know, is wishing him to have a great life ahead. 

after him, was another whom I don't feel to talk any more. I've been blogging and talking too much of him. He  even appears in our conversation. 

Why would I so sentimental when I read my abang angkat's blog? Why would I so sour when I put myself on his stand (my bro and my ex)?

I'm thinking if one day the one I rely on leave me again. Can I cope with this? 

barely could accept. 

You can say i'm an independent girl, you can be terrified when I'm in real independent, it means I don't need you; but I feel like losing the desire to be one. I have a big arm, huge body and 'bak-bak' shoulder to rely on, and it is too comfortable to rely on. Sometimes I hate myself of loving one, because i feel like losing the real me. wthhhhh.

Somehow somewhat I'm willing to. (*)

Just now was chatting with a friend from USA, we have a big age gap, she is ald 65 years old. 

She told me his husband was hospitalized for 8 weeks. I'm not pessimistic, but too far sight to foresee something. Few decades later how if he leave me before I do? 

leave me a huge amount of inheritance will do. XD

ok, back, I just want a stable life, where we can live happily. 

every Sunday, I'm damn long necked to wait for Tuesday coming; after that is waiting for coming Friday. 

So now, I'm waiting for Tuesday again. 

Compare (and there you finish)

One thing I don't deny, I have quite a lot of friends; quite a lot of friends in opposite sex.

So when they complain their gf to me,I always try to be mediator; however deep down my heart, I'm despising the girl...for me,I do think being in a relationship, both parties should have put efforts instead of only insist say, guys should be more devoting. I mean, both should be reasonable. So, It causes me to put myself in another's shoes, because I don't want a guy complains about me to his friend, like what those guys complained their gf to me. Maybe this is the problem, I've listened too much stories for guys, where they claimed how much they sacrificed for their gf, need me to list down one by one? I can't list down all, but I can list down 5-8 guys who had complained to me. Therefore, I always try to be a GF that not bringing problems (at least not the problems like their gf brought them). From movie, we always watch how willful and unreasonable a girl can be, and how annoying to be a girl like that. Thus, I always remind myself don't be this kinda girl.

Unfortunately, I'm still a girl. Nah--I'm still a female...

Why others can but you can't?

For whatever circumstances, this shitty "innocent" question undeniably pretty helpful in stir up the fire.

say, in an argument. Why others can but you can't?

or, no argument, but either party remain silence and flash back. Why others can but you can't?

I think, I knew, comparisonl makes things worse...

You get angry, because you compare-- Why others can but you can't?

You get mad, because you compare--Why others can but you can't?

Girl: Why who and who's bf can bought it for her but you can't? Why my ex boy friend did it for me but you can't? 

Guy: Why others girls won't be so demanding but you? Why my others girl friends can be so reasonable but you can't?

See, the problem is, compare--Why others can but you can't?; this is not the fatal cause, the stupid reason that people always overlook is: people only listen story from one party, like what I did, I only listened stories from those guys. 

Guy:  Who and who's bf bought her because he is rich; I'm not. Fair enough? 

         Your ex bf did it because he didn't think wisely; I'm not, and I don't feel the obligation to do so. Fair enough? 

(girls, you don't even listen or understand how my situation is)

Girl: They don't be so demanding because whatever they want are already given. huhhuh...Fair enough?

       They can be so reasonable because they only being unreasonable to their bf, whom not the one who standing right in front of me and questioning me why being so unreasonable. huhhuh...Fair enough? 

(guys, you don't even see another side of story) 

I don't mean to complain, cards of you and him or you and her are not supposed to put on table, this is a fair game, and here is a public place if you know what I mean. I'm just standing on a female's stand, trying not to be sentimentally, to analyze relationship between man and woman. 

But again, unfortunately, I'm still a gi....Nah...I'm still a female. XD

and tell a secret (idiot, openly tell a secret), I read a post from an oversea resident but posted locally, and discover something. Well...and I was comparing again. 

So sad  I'm not only being a female, but being a human. ah huh...