there is a word called: Contradiction

Miss the weather; miss the people; miss the accent; miss the currency; miss the fast food; miss the snack food.

I heard cold storage is special in selling import food, perhaps i can find Ben and Jerry there? I was happy and excited to find out Walkers and Hulahoop was available, too. Camera was ready to take some photos for blogging purpose... I alerted there was one "wood" standing there, looks like patrolling but his eye didn't look like one! instead he was more like a surveillant. How weird is that when he was following wherever which rack we stop by?well...

is there any problem? Xiang asked.

"no" he answered, but still stood like a wood there ><

we feel not comfortable of being followed, you've been following us quite some time.

no, because i saw you wants to take photo, i suspect you are competitor...

G0SH

quite some argument then...

this is just a ind reminder, i didn't suspect you are, but...

ok...my turn to shoot

You just said you suspect us? this is not fair to every consumer of Cold Storage...

then he requested to check camera. i wanted to argue about his right to check but since xiang said ok,then...fine, let him check

it is a joke! he didn't even know how to operate a compact camera like mine.

checked. nothing, what his face looked like? he never thought of to say sorry?

i think you should apologize right?

...

...

..

before we left, he was following again, WTF! Some more wanted to call a guard. Crazy, do i look so stupid to be your surveillant object? We were about to leave but before step out there, i said:

I really don't like the way you talk.

what makes me so particular to catch his word, because he said suspecting us at first; followed said he didn't suspect. This is called contradiction in terms. Don't ever do this if you want to take an action that might bring people uncomfortable feel. Enemies are always ready to catch your mistake, and you will be countered back by own mistake. If you did this, beware.

Anyway, i shouldn't let non-valuable people like him, like any annoyed one, bring my mood up and down.

May i Love you?

I got to know him when i was in Liverpool, it happened when i was you-tubing songs-

--Cry Me a River, by Justin Timberlake--

this song is awesomely present my mood. Well, you know, always clutter of videoclips appeared on youtube, thats why it makes it so famous; many people posted their video on Youtube and it is how the story started. This song, many people sang it and posted it, the clip of a little kid holding a guitar graped my attraction, and i clicked it.

He sings damn good. the first videoclip i watched, he was playing guitar and sing acoustically, i mean without music, the clip is only 2 minutes plus, if im not mistaken; but i din't explore much about him, just impressed by his voice.

He, a kid- a Canadian native who grew up in Stratford called Justin Bieber is only 15 years old. He was started to sing when 3 years old. It happened 3 years ago when he was 12, he participated in a competition called Stratford Idol, and he managed to get first runner up among all participants who took singing lessons and had their vocal couches. Since then he started post his clips on youtube in the intention of sharing his victory with his loved ones. Amazingly this clips hitting rates were up to million, and this lead his manager- Braun found him.

Justin is lucky, and with no doubt he is blessed with talents, he is self-tough musician who plays guitar, drum, piano and trumpet. (This impressed me more! how many can plays trumpet? and I'm deeply believe he plays much more better than me). When he saw Usher, he was brave enough to approach him, said: Hey, i like your songs very much, would you like me sing you one?

Marvelous....Usher wanted to sign to up, meanwhile Justin Timberlake had the same thinking as well...

OK....year 2008, finally he had his debut album..."first time" is his first single, i can foresee this kid will be growing as shine as he can, like a new superstar, like a solid force in music industry with his untapped well natural artistic talent. Justin, I've faith in you.

"i grew up under the poverty line, i didn't have much as others did. I think this made me a stronger person it built my character" Justin said. Haha....a small kid can say this in a sophisticate way, impressed and admire him so much.

i hope this kid will not blind by his achievement, don't be like the main character in Home Alone....

This is him---Justin Bieber.

Defeat and Victory.

Day after day, I’m getting more and more conscious. If everyone has a dream, this is the longest dream I’ve ever had; perhaps I should call it nightmare? If this is a war, I’ll announce my soldiers are defeated but victory is always belongs to us. What a confusing claim when team loses battle yet possess of victory! Yes, things happened are always as ridiculous as the phrase above: white and black, yes and no, on and off, win and lose. It is ridiculous but explainable, ridiculous but it does exist.

White and black= grey (so a fucker cheated but the lies are claimed as white lies-for them, on fucker’s perspective);

Yes and no= uncertain (so a bastard is always with the characteristic of uncertain);

On and off= something wrong (so an asshole on off on off cause difficulties in shitting);

Win and lose= what happened at me (so a silly leant to smile after injury)

Let me make this as a war, describe it as a war.

When the war had just started I’m caution enough not to be trapped, opposition is not friendly. A new general- me who only lead a team once and win once know the truth and fact of I’m not smart enough to handle a war like this. Well, war started and war end, just like that. The war is declared: defeated; BUT, the triumph is belongs to me.

Fine…I’m defeated in the war, but won consciousness; my soldiers are injured in the war but they recovered and getting stronger, tougher. Yes, I’m defeated like dog but opposition dint gain anything. I’m defeated, what I lose is just a war; but the value of what I win is more, much more than what I lose, even over than what the opposition won.

Do you think to stop?

lighted on the harmful stick, stood at balcony, looking at the plants and 2 significant buildings from far, smooky weather doesnt make the buildings look as grand as described. Always, memory of past flashed through my mind when i see something. Feel now and months ago was really different, think depth, im still going no matter what, which means no matter how the ending is the same because i've done what i use to do, i swear no changing but 'the one', 'the one' decided and changed things.

May, the scene i saw was greenish plant and so called grand buildings from far; then i saw historical building in a different place with different mood and weather, what makes the difference, other than what i saw and also what i feel, here is a little bit hot, sticky and sweaty, air is alittle polluted, thats all. few months later what i will see most probably will be building everywhere. these are the stages of one must go through, who knows few years later the scene i see will be .....(whatever).

weixiang always said, move on. i know, life must goes on. (i dont mean to hint anything)
i realised one thing, no matter how much you dont want, time pass as it does, age increased as it used to, responsibility of one keep adding even you dont want. Our parents had this stages, aren't they? 20+++ years ago they were same like us, blur about direction to be step on, but years later they still did it but just the path might be different and destination is different, we're still given birth; i mean, no matter how much you dont want, how much you feel hard, things always routing universally, no one is excluded. years later our children will have the same thought as we do now.

for friends who are still bluring, scaring of facing the cruel world, move on. you know it must goes on but just you are not willing to face it yet. im ready to step on the path that my age should step on, months later i will be an executive of whatever, im going to make a bright future.

move on. and forget whatever blocking you from moving on.

we will meet at the grand destination. see you .

Time= best medicine

finally, i recognized the fact of a need to back to reality. The feel of counting the distance between both places of few months ago and few months later is totally different, both have the feeling of feeling hard to leave but the feeling towards subject to be left is different; but the cause of making up the feeling is a same subject.

in the end i was still hardly to accept the fact, no matter is the fact of a general one or more in to detail one, i still had a feel of being fooled? perhaps not that serious, but i cant find a word to fully describe it. Everyone said when you are in the trap you will never know you are trapped; and i was fully experienced this. If one asked, would you like the delete the memory permanently? my answer was: NO. Although it was not a good one, but before it turns bad, the good one was too good to be true, and the feel of having it was really replenished my dull and boring life. And at that time of having this answer, i was still baring the hard feeling of it, and count to the matter that i assumed it supposed should not happened.

Odd things happens all the time. what i assumed it should not happen, it happened. From the beginning what i analyzed was wrong, what i predicted and what i believed was wrong, all wrong form the beginning till the end. what disappointed me the most were: he never face the problem. Fine of giving a fake hope, I've predicted the ending of this day once i allowed it happen, but not a ending like escaping lo.

there was a gathering at mooncake festival, a sophisticated man awaken me. And he told a frightening news of me that im in a negative magnetic field, which meansn im more likely to see them. the grad old man said i was confusing and not concentrating, should be more focus to raise the negativity to positivity.

erm, really... samsook had his points, and his point awaken me. this few days my mind is more peaceful and calm, which i didn't have in the past few months, at least, i dont think of his face , his name, his joke, his word once i opened my eye......