言论自由到唔知你嗡乜！

言论自由，已达巅峰。

何以见得?一场本应全民同哀既马航失联事件让几乎所有网络用户各自发表意见。尤其係社交网站,愕然发现大家原来都有"秘捞”，譬如话：分析员，记者，教授，评论员等。先勿论大家有无呢个本事担当该责任，小女子发现大家都有个共同点：专制。

言论自由本来就係你同我都有既人权，但系呢个事件，呢班有秘捞既同胞好不约而同甘围剿其他有别于拒地意见既人。当拒地好情绪亢奋甘踩紧有关当局既无能（无错，当局做嘢的确有D甩漏，你发泄情有可原），又或者批评紧点解唔派出果两膄贵到飞起既潜水艇帮忙搜寻（老细，Scorpene Submarine 主要目唔係作为搜寻之用），到取笑果几位''波磨” 喺机场大舞龙风（虽然好笑），一旦有位同胞发表意见，稍微改正下大家既误解而该位同胞之见又同大家唔同的话。。。大家就会突然将枪头/拳头指向该同胞，喺社交网站呢个平台上群殴拒。先弹拒偏帮“郭震”，再问候人地老母。喂，依家係飞机失联，关政治乜事？！ 大家发表下意见嗻，洗唔洗去到甘尽？呢件事，令我联想到一套港剧里既角色：舌剑上的公堂。话说荒唐镜之子乃係聋既，但係为咗掩饰，拒从来唔同其他人讲嘢，就算人地提醒拒，拒都係答： “都唔知你嗡乜！下等人！！”
先拒绝你答案，再用字句侮辱你一番。

一个失联事件，衍生出甘多争议。
其实大家係咪应该将焦点摆返喺点先帮到件事，而唔係将件事联想到各种阴谋论？
尤其当呢个事件沦为国际笑料，有小部分既人竟然落井下石，好似好开心甘。唔好忘记，你同我都应该为此笑料附上责任。当大家开始乱share未经证实既文章时，已经为此笑料播下种子。

当权者烂，人尽皆知。如果言论自己未有控制，恐怕都会一样烂。

Madness is not meant to be hidden, I'm just following my inner moonlight.

Another 60 days to year 2014, recap what happened the most in year 2013 is "First Time".

Noted this is not a unusual term, there are way too much "First Time" in life, however these few are remarkable one. At least, there are what I had been always wanted to do; and now, I have done. 

First in the list, braces. 

There are few posts few years back mentioned I would like to put on braces. That was procrastinated for few years, and finally it was actualized at May.  

That will be a months journey. I wish it can be shorter. 

People are telling: you are so brave. 

No, I'm not. I'm too coward not to make the items in my to-do-list happen. 

Since this appeared in my to-do-list, I have no reason not to make it concrete. 

After all, I'm just pleasing my self. 

Life, is too long when you are self-constrained to the frame that is not set by you, but others; and it is too short when you are blindly following the environment. 

Second first time, is a pair of tatoo. 

Though Chinese like to quote this: your body is given by parents. You shall appreciate them but not spoil them.

Tell you what, absofuckinglutely agree. That's why I try not to eat too much meat and consume more on vege and fruits. 

But, I don't think tatoo violate or go against the ancient thought, it is just a permanent painting on your body. 

The paint on your wall, when years passing by, the color will be faded away, let alone your skin? This is why most people are saying not to tatoo because it looks good at the time being but when skin get loosen, it will look like a shit. 

Well.. opinion is accepted gladly and I shall continue what I think is correct. 

So, she is my tatoo artist. Hishiko Ng. In fact she is my senior in college, from an artist turn to be a tatoo artist. 

What turned out is a pair of chinese word. 

女and 子

one at my left inner ankle and one at my right inner ankle.

they are my identity.

好

when I put my foot together, they combine to this word. 

and they always be with me. 

This is how they turn out to be. 

Somehow if you look from far, you will not know they are tatoos, most people think they are wound. 

Only when you see closely, or when you ask. 

That is what I obtained at July, however 2 months later.........................

This is my latest tatoo. 

It comes with a pair of wings and a self-motivational quotes. 

"Tough Time Never Last But Tough Mia Does" 

come with a pair wings. 

Got that when I traveled to Bangkok. 

My friend who was going together the trip got hers there too, and customers' reviews are good.

It was in Kaoshan Road. 

A female who doesn't know Thai, look for the tatoo shop alone, gave your idea on how you want tatoo to be done,, lied down in a strange place, start the work. 

If you ask me scare or not? hmmm.. need to be more alert and take the risk, because you are alone. Nevertheless, that was recommended by many people, a certain level of safety is confirmed. 

Unlike my previous tatoo artist, they design for me and advise. So the whole thing is my idea, and not beautified. There lies a possibility for next procedure to make it more appealing. =) 

This is how the whole thing looks like. Length is longer than my palm (my palm is bigger and longer than most ladies).

Compare to the first one, this one more painful. Although inner ankle has more nerves and suppose contributes more to painfulness, but don't know why when coloring the wing was the most painful time. 

It took lesser than 3 hours to finish it, and I finished 2 Chang Beers. In the process I requested for 5 minutes break when I can't take the painfulness, it was almost the end of the process.

hmm... after the tatoo, when i was taking a tuktuk from Kaoshan Road back to Shukumvit. 

Third "First Time"

BUNGEE JUMP

The lowest height in the world, only like 7 floors high. 

Sounds low, but when you are standing at the border, you know you are gonna jump down, you will notice your heart beat that you always ignore.

The whole process is the moment before you decide to jump. 

You know you gonna jump, you know you will be safe. But the moment you post like ready, guts that needed from the moment your brain send a message to the muscle and nerves at your feet to release yourself from standing at the border, and guts that needed to persist the message to fall freely seriously take alot. I presume more the sperms for every spurt. 

When you are tied at your feet, you have to move bit by bit, until the border, looked down. 

"fuck shit....am i going to jump down?" this might be what appear in your mind. 

Then, you thought you are close enough to the border, and yet the helper say..

"keluar sikit! keluar sikit!"

"Omg, keluar sikit straight fall lo! keluar?!!!" I dont know how you will think, but that's my thought at tht moment. 

"keluar sikit!!!"

Untill I feel my half feet were out of the border of the board...I know...no choice and i gotta fucking jump down. 

Without hesitate half a second more, I feel the gravity and seconds later i hanging in the air...... 

as per picture below. 

oh.. this is just another funny picture when we were so concered about the sunlight UV and PA. 

Of course, there are more first time in my year 2013, but above are most significant one, and need some courage to do. 

I think, we are all too busy and tired because of soaking in the high tension society, untill we forgot what we want in life. Or, forgot why we live. 

We live for ourselves, not merely for others. (take note, we do live for others too, but not merely)

"You are too busy being YOU that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are." (John Green, The Fault in Our Stars, 2012) 

-end of the thought for now- 

to be cont. 

谁伴我闯荡

有人话：你吵可以好吵，静却静的恐怖。

我从来都吾想承认呢个叫双子座，我不过系吾单纯甘认为人人都有呢个特质，所以无野令你好特别。不过，每个人系独一无二既，又系另一个不争的事实。

所以凡事两面睇呢句说话系我学得最快的哲学；坚持原则系最吃亏的观念，因为世界永远不变的就系变。

有人话：你睇落老练咗。

不难解释。系快鱼吃慢鱼既世界，若我未变，出年清明或许，或者，要麻烦你到位一拜。呢句讲的过火喇。既是话，我变只不过为生存。有时自己好岚颠果阵，另一个自己会问D好正直但系又令你好担心既问题。打个譬如：当你想做D违背任何野但又不伤大雅既野时拒无喇喇问：甘吾系好岩啵。FREUD既 ID,SUPEREGO & EGO 呢排都好明显甘系我脑海彩排。危险。

跟住时代世界既改变，我越来越觉得自己凡人得无得再凡。系叹息着时间过得好快既同时，我亦都系度随波逐流，直至无时间想，无时间反省。

刚刚睇咗篇文章， 文中话：人要跳出COMFORT ZONE， 之后再提及，人一生吾系追求安稳生活嘛？系咯。。。呢个就要睇你点取舍喇。

太耐无提文，就系挤吾出好睇D既字。再返睇年前既字迹，多少感慨到底自己早熟或是放慢速度。

文终：有缘再续。

抽象画隐藏的意思，或许画它的人才懂。

从前有个测验，你最喜欢的三种动物。

忘了它们代表什么，可能是爱自由爱权力？

忘了。

忘了。

只知道其实想有个真正的家。

或许这样太抽象。

或许抽象。

抽象?

或许．．．

仲恶啃过四川麻辣锅

Again, I’m looking at the screen but do not know how to put my thoughts into words. There are too much, just too much.

由细到大，我地睇既灰姑娘都话我地知拒系个善良可爱，刻苦耐劳既女仔；但系事实上，拒系个骗财骗色，叭渣泼辣既贱货。。。

原来由细到大所认知的，都未必0岩。

果本数年无翻而导致页与页之间都粘起既日记簿，记载着这么一句话
“虽无大富大贵，但系有个尚算完整的家，温暖说不上，小康也不至于，不过还是完整。”

首歌就像突然爆红的然后又销声匿迹的William Hung，还没爽够就就收皮。
都吾止，仲上演饖过溏心风暴的剧集，呢套死人长气片偏偏上演了好几年都不停，快十年喇。。。 

剧集长气老土，丝毫没有令人振奋的剧情，编剧吾闷，观众都想转台，何必睇D丧家片，又激心又烦又爱莫能助，最主要系负能量丫嘛，我妖！可惜男女主配角却似被下咒的公仔，焗住黎演部戏，仲锅锅新鲜锅锅甘！由前传既逃难记，堕楼记，老友老点记，中风记，破产记，至剧集既东山再起记，翻脸记，打架篇，家丑篇，二奶风云，醉酒篇之5354，至最新更新，上瘾记。

刁。。。再套用杜文泽果句：洗吾洗甘重口味吖？

自己事自己承担系正确既，但系点解下下都吾关你事，不在控制之内但系又烦埋一份？
愿这咒语尽快被解开，皆因：老娘吾想再睇吾想再听，更吾想牵涉系演员表内。

文终再附上一句：刁。

一片忠于自己的心情

The thought of putting some words on this site has been flashing in my mind in recent months, but my mind is like a constipating asshole, hardly to squeeze content out; while my thoughts are like foods in a glutton's stomach, too much.

I remember I have posted up this statement once in FB, and no body understand what the heck was I trying to tell.
"I prefer words".
In fact I also can't understand.
To better express my thought, it should be in this way:
"I prefer letters(written words) over words(uttered words).
This was recorded in my diary, oh...once upon a time...

So...the blog had been abandoned for at least 6 months. 
And I've been thinking what title to give to this entry. Finally, the title confirmed as " 一片忠于自己的心情"


Mood 1:
People like to ask: how are you when meeting with each other, at least in western country it just simple works like "Hi!";n but most of the time I don't know how to answer, even it doesn't request me to answer how am I really doing.

How are you?
hmm..good.
hmm...ok la...
hmm..like that loh.
hmm...GOOD~~~~what about you? u are doing well huh? ......

Different mood, different answer.
To be very honest to answer this question: good and bad.
Good, I get to experience more, I have people that I love and love me too,
Bad, i have yet to achieve my goal...
Most of the time, bad part conquer majority of my mind, I've been thinking how and what to do, and at the same time waiting for the right timing to come.
"wait for....? hey, take action! what are you waiting for?"
'ehem...well...before the strategy is out, what kinda action I can take? I do what i can do now, which doesn't result much, so I'm thinking for another more effective strategy; and luck plays another important role...this might be the thing that I'm waiting for?"
well...an argument with no ending. I'm still doing what I can.

Mood 2:
Friends are getting married, getting children, buying houses, changing cars.
Marriage, one of the best dude of mine, married last year and born a baby girl too; UK glasses gang, 1 engaged 1 is getting married; course mates, few are married.
People asked me about this: when are you getting married?
"Not soooo soon la. a lot of things to think about after signing the paper. Only do it when career is build and stable la"
"Why? after that not working meh?" "so what has it to do with career"
............

Mood 3:
Had a pet, the first ever puppy in my life.
notice I use HAD? ya, it died eventually, after 3 weeks in my house.
Very very sad, but now recover, sometimes her shadow will still climb up to my mind, remind me to remember her. Of course I do Coffee =) RIP
Now, have another new pup, sister of Coffee with different breed.
We name her Momoe, thinking to change a name, "Mo-Moe" 无无... doesn't sound good.
发达女？Richie? Cash? Toto? Bonus? 头奖？I think call her "Soon-soon"顺顺, but, she is a girl?

Mood 4:
People come and go.
Sister of my friend passed away.
Bf of my ex-colleague passed away.
Friends in couple broke up.
无常？ya....wu-chang.

If this entry to be continued, it will be thousands of words.

So... look forward!
撑得住既！

Cheers,
Mia

新年不過兩三天

2 months before this Chinese festive, I got serious mental illness.
When it is approaching, I have no choice but to face it.
Seeing friends are doing very well, some of them change big car, some of them even planning to buy property.
I want to do all but yet to reach there.

Went back few days, only. Who doesnt want to accompany your precious family longer?
The longer I was with them, the more I felt sorry.
Sorry, because I have yet to deliver What I promise to myself.
Again and again, again and again, the choice has been justified.
我没有后悔,只有遗憾

One more thing, a friend of mine was doubting my purpose, a purpose which initially and in the end was just to meet.
可笑。
As if....to contribute millions to my company and the beneficiary is my name.
小錢看不開，自然大錢不會來。