just like that

At this time, when the digital clock on my lappy's screen is showing 1253, I should have slept, should be meeting with Mr Chow, but the fact is I'm not. I'm blogging. Last post is a crap, isn't it? Someone told me something which I've recognized before it is pointed out, quite hurt of that few words. Who knows words with care would turned to harm? No one wants, but the Gemini is too sentimental sometime. "Nothing gonna defeat me?" sounds too naive and optimistic; I'm just always trying not to be defeated. 

Apples bought at last week, are still kept in fridge, it reminds me : Hey, busy huh? 

in fact, not that busy, just because of working, I canceled a beneficial class that I suppose to attend. 

Come to my job, frankly say, at least not dislike, but his job could turn me to another people, skill to survive. I give myself a period of time, keep my finger crossed, I can achieve what i want, if can, I would like to stay more than 5 years here, another 3% of the fund. haha... 

talk about my *eh hem*....this is quite sensitive topic, especially when you've worked long enough. I don't like to reveal the exact number, sometimes it is one of the few things could make me feel secured. It is unfair i know, but I really jealous people dont need to pay rental, dont need to bother about expenses on transport, dont need to think about food. If i could save all this, it gives me extra 800-900 per month... Seniors in life always say, "slow slow come" (means slowly you will have), slowly save you will have abundance of saving, slowly work you will be at high level(means promoted). The moment you're saving, the value of things around are inflating, quite sad but it is true. Dont want to face the reality,then turn you face aside; but the impact still hits on you. I back to be part time freelance girl, gotta appreciate this title, soon girl will turn to matured girl, please note that, MATURED. The pay is so less, lesser than last time, supposedly, theoretically pay should increase by year, but it declined! I was standing there and think: I'm selling my time...this is passive, go to maximum 30 working days per month, earn 4-5k, but whole day gone, work 12 hours perday,plus time travel  go and back. but do you think you still can earn this figure 5 years later? and 5years later, how much 5 k meant to you? 

A doctor, Chinese traditional doctor told me: you are weak...

o.0 

i doubt. all this while i'm doing fine. Until yesterday, I realized, I really turned weaker. Headache, dizziness all come to me recently. Especially yesterday, I feel like falling down at the mall, can't walk straight, and yet I run towards the entrance when it was 10pm. Supposedly i should take more care on myself, how about consume more food supplement? how about eat more nutritious food? you know what, you dont have a choice when you are working. Someone could do it, but the one must have sacrifice alot, like networking.

Jacky chong's song comes to my mind,　如果这就是爱～～～but i changed a little bit, 如果这就是life~~~~

also to mention: I have a fren, not so close always complaint this and that, complaint life no good, complaint job, want holiday... hey, you have a good life okay! at least you still carrying nice and branded bag, alot of clothes, got few cars to drive, family burden not falls on you. 

 如果这就是life~~~~

this is how different of human life.