dont use ur imagination to read, not even to interpret

i got some inspiration from Derique..view his blog if u are free. Read this entry if you are free too... Let me define FREE...

---Fuck!!I'm Rather Emo but don't do anything Else--

cant interpret it? ok...becoz it is in English, i knoe...

in cantonese: F!甘愿胡思亂想都唔做其他 嘢

so now u got it?

so now u free?

actually im now super free, absolutely free, absofuckinglutely FREE

no.actually i have a lots of things have to do...cuming asses, plans, presentations, thesis....

but i rather being FREE. sigh.

I have a dream.

which is hard to achieve, hard to make it.

i wish i can lose the ability of cry.

i dun wan cry anymore.

CRY--means something bad happen, something i cant bare, something hard for me to endure.

i can foresee waht makes me cry----IF my grandma pass away, I'd cry as if no more tomorrow. We are very close, she is the onli one i would lean to before i leave m hometown, even my parents, i dun think i've ever lean on them.She is the onli one i talk to when i was in secondary school,everynight we chat untill late, until i cant tahan n sleep, while the next day i gotta wale up at 630. Now u can tell how hard to make me cry, which is someone i'd lean to, left me.

there was one time, i've forgotten how to cry, how to release tension within my eyeball...

tat was when i brother take my money away, the amount not little.

i dun cry at tat time, bearably, not to shed tears,only one drop dropped, i take it as moisturising my eye ball . But seriously, barably hold the tears, is suffer, but i have to. i just dun wan lose control cry like mad while im alone. Yea, i have fun all the time, but most of the time im alone, ALONE, as in mentally.

I dun find anyone to be my support, as if even how hard i fight, it is for myself. confusing? yea..it is...becoz u r not me, u'll never undestand wat i think, wat i wana say. Even if i tell, so what? can u understand?

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Some said im arrogant, some said im steady, some said im tough.

Do i?

I know where is my limitation, where is the border. I hate pretending, but sadly we hav to compromise that, as a human who live in a big society, U HAVE TO PRETEND AS IF U R REALI HAPPY,at least, dont show ur emo face, dont take showing emo for granted.

But i reli wana shout, IM JUST PRETENDING!

anyway, allow me justify for PRETENDING. pretending would lead u enter mistiness zone in between white and black, meanwhile hapi or not is no longer important, they are not existed. So i put it n anohter way, when u enter the grey zone, Emoness put aside, hapi?not that level yet, no emo, no hapi, it is back to a normal stage where ur mood at a peacefull atmosphere. Does it make sense? maybe yes , maybe no, but for me, definitely YES.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sorry of making ppl feel uncomfortable after read this. tats y i said, read this onli when u FREE...